WELL HELLO EVERYONE. I just really wanted to start writing again like I did in high school! It is great for me to get my feelings out on paper instead of my youtube channel or with my friends. SO HERE YOU GO.
So this feeling that I speak of, rejection. Rejection is something so terrible to feel. It makes me feel like my insides are slowly rotting and I won't be able to recover. Well we all know, I'm exaggerating but still, it is very sucky. (man, I have the best vocab) I have dated in the past and have been very happy. But now looking back, I tried way to hard in those relationships and didn't get it reciprocated. I DESERVE BETTER. It has taken me years to realize this, but I deserve someone trying their hardest to be with me. I don't need to blow all of my money on you, taking you out to dinner, buying you ridiculous presents. I'm a broke college student, I can barely feed myself. I want someone that wants to take me out, initiate dates and ask me to hangout. This is a two way street, I'm done doing everything. I DESERVE IT. I am a great catch and I can finally say that without feeling shitty about it. I'm not trying to act conceited but just say that I have a new found self confidence that I'm extremely proud of.
So back to the rejection. I'm done with going after people that are just not for me. Straight girls, taken girls, or just crazy girls. Those kind of things always end in heartbreak and plain rejection. This leaves me feelings so useless because there is no way to change your mind. YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE GIRLS. Why did I think I could change you? The challenge? I'm sick and tired of these "challenges" my mind keeps putting my heart through. I need someone who wants me for me like I said before.
I hope you see where I'm coming from. I'm ready for this single stage of my life. I'm not looking for anymore but maybe something great with an amazing girl will happen soon.
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